Aviv’s Blog
To Lead is to Transform
Love Is 100 Times Better
Why do so many relationships hit a brick wall?
Too many people insist on holding onto frozen dreams instead of realizing that a relationship is a learning journey. You work at it. You work at it hard and you work at it soft and you make discovery, learning and growing central to your relationship. You listen to each other and you listen to yourself. You learn to not “should” all over each other. You make space, you encourage and you try to take the higher roads. You live and let live and you then discover that it makes every year a bit better because you are able to take in more about life, more about each other and more about growing together.
The biggest mistake people make is to turn around at age 45 or 55 and say we don’t love each other the way we did at 25, it doesn’t feel the same. Well, of course not. What both of you were at 25 is frozen in time. You are now 45 or 55 – who says it’s supposed to feel the same? You are different; your partner is different. You have experience, wisdom, perspective and you have managed to overcome adversity. You are more set in some of your ways and at the same time you can grow and evolve in other ways. If you listen to each other’s growth and pay attention to your own—love at 45 and 55 is deeper, more interesting and fascinating and 100 times better than it was at 25, and it helps both of you to continue to evolve.
Have you noticed the two thirds of EVOLVE is love? Does that not tell us that love is the inner propulsion of growth, development and evolution?
© Aviv Shahar
Aviv-
I really enjoyed your perspective in the reading above. I was able to apply it in a different area of my life.
My friends and I sometimes get caught up in trying to create the fun we had in high school instead of focusing on the new fun.
I think the points made in your blog about love can be applied to the notion that the best times were in high school. What a sad thought that truely is! What is there to look forward to if you believe in your head and heart that the best times have already been had?
Your writing has encouraged me to look for the qualites in my friends that only time can bring about.
The same way lovers should seek and appreciate growth in each other I do believe the same is true for any relationship.
Thanks for the writing.
I’m also excited to take some time to think over the 10 questions you recently presented for making 2009 a better year.
-Adam
I stumbled upon your website, the journey will often take you where you were destinded to go.
I have enjoyed all I have read, and learned today I will defintely become a avid reader.
In reflecting to the above post I can see the mistakes that I have made by not seeing the changes in my wife. Yet, I did not experiance the ‘love’ from her as the changes were taking place. The result is after 20 years we are ending because we did not see the changes ….”liquidity”.